28

Feb

I am so happy and grateful list

The following things today:

  • Running water
  • Morning quiet
  • My hair
  • My roommate’s sleeping dog
  • Comfy car
  • Birds
  • Pretty purple flowers growing near the freeway
  • Lady walking down the street
  • That car over there
  • Smoothies
  • My Pandora station at my desk (currently set to Far and Away Film Soundtrack)
  • My j.o.b.

Another good thing to do is to decide to approve of yourself for a set amount of time. Take an hour and approve of everything you’re thinking, doing, saying and feeling. Just decide it is okay and you’re okay. EVERYTHING.

My friend Dan actually has this whole long crazy exercise about self-approval that I’ll share sometime. He does the self-approval thing for two hours while sitting alone doing nothing and basically questions all his thoughts.

Side note: If you don’t think this works, here is my testimonial for Dan (he is a single guy and quite the ladies man lately). After doing the self-approval thing he made out with two girls at a bar in the same night. Just sayin. :)

Don’t believe everything you think.

This is another exercise to try. And here’s a vegetable to ponder.

photo by jronaldlee

82 days ago Short URL

26

Feb

Expect to see me out in public more often in my pajamas

It’s really convenient when you use your neighbor’s wireless signal. I was even bold enough to knock on my neighbor’s door and ask for his password (I blame desperation). But now that I stopped using it for a few weeks, I can’t get back on. So, instead of shelling out to get my own signal, I’ve decided I’ll just use the signal at the coffee shop when I need it. Thus, more in-public pajama time!

Whenever I’m not working or socializing, I pretty much live in either my yoga clothes or my pjs. Or a combination of both.

I feel fashionally challenged in San Diego. I cannot keep up with you people. Last night I went to a party and everyone looked so freaking put together. I am clueless on some how my friends, who don’t have regular incomes, always look so stunning.

I think about buying new stuff… and then I go to yoga class instead or I get a snack. I would like to hire someone to just buy me clothes and shit. Can I do that? Cause getting me to an actual store is… well… difficult.

Can’t we just all go hiking or something?

The first time I moved to San Diego, 8 years ago, my friend Eric peaked into my closet and came out telling me he’d never seen a girl’s closet with so few clothes. I tried to explain I’d been working for the Forest Service and only really needed a couple outfits for that job, but he still shook his head in amazement.

The problem comes when it’s time to go out with friends (or go to work everday as I’m now experiencing). There have been times when I don’t actually want to go out because I have nothing to wear (literally!).

On Friday night, I bought a yoga shirt on sale for $27.00 and I was so hesitant to buy it. Then I wore it on Saturday to class and LOVED it. It felt soooooooo good. But do you know when the last time I bought a new yoga shirt was before that?

Here’s some numbers to break it down:

  • 4.5 years: the last time I bought new yoga gear (no joke).
  • 28: the number of yoga classes I’ve gone to this year alone.

OH MY GOD!!!!

This is the shit I need to remind myself of when I want to quit the j.ob. and try to be (nearly) homeless again. It’s not a good idea. In fact, it’s crazy.

It IS a possibility that I can go back to my previous sleeping-in schedule in the future. But first I really, really, really, really, really need to upgrade EVERYTHING. Which means I need to work for awhile for an employer and BE FUCKING NORMAL. I just got my health/dental/vision insurance cards in the mail and it’s kind of cool to have those things.

There is a giant part of me that doesn’t give a shit about fitting in — and in fact wants to be “different.” But then I’m at my happiest when I do fit in. Like last night — I am welcome to this huge 200-person party in open arms by friends  — amazing friends — and in those times it feels like I’ve made it.

Excuse me as I realize something here.

 

This blurry school photo is from the event. I'm in a surf club called the San Diego Surf Ladies (even though I don't own a surf board). I'm the blonde dot in the back row below the orange and purples lights. And I'm looking at this photo and realizing not everyone here is a fastionista. Just me being werid.

 

You know, sometimes when you spell out the truth to yourself and see it in your face, it’s motivating.

Like, if I knew a girl who never bought herself anything even though she needed it, I would yell at her to GO SHOPPING and suck it!

I have been reading this book by a famous designer and it makes me realize I should present myself a little better to the world (awesome, as I blog about how I’m going to wear more pajamas). I think if you pair those pj’s with some sexy red high heels you’re golden. Right?

Does anyone know where a shoe store is?

By the way, as I wrote this blog on an older laptop (which also needs to be upgraded), the letter “p” stopped working. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?

I swear this shit is alive.

 

84 days ago Short URL 2 Comments

//

19

Feb

Dog beach weekend

This is my friend’s dog who I’m dog sitting. Hi name is Kali and he is a 10-year-old cancer survivor. If that isn’t sweet enough, I texted my friend one of these photos and she told me “that is his favorite place in the whole world.” So we went both days this weekend. I think I want a dog now.

91 days ago Short URL

15

Feb

It’s Stress Monkey Wednesday

Here, have a sock monkey in the shape of an octopus.

The entire San Diego freeway is red right now–and not just red–black! What does black mean? Geez. I am never leaving work.

Make an island of yourself,
make yourself your refuge;
there is no other refuge.
Make truth your island,
make truth your refuge;
there is no other refuge.
~Digha Nikaya, 16

 

photo via John Durant photographer

95 days ago Short URL

14

Feb

Random Valentine Generator

Really there should be a Random Valentine Generator where you push a button and get a cute, random Valentine message from the Internet. Kind of like the Turtle Name Generator.

I got to work and my coworkers handed me candies! It’s awesome working in corporate sometimes. Kind of like V-day in elementary school (except ALL the boys in my department are gay). I’m picking out a random heart-shaped candy and it says:

Jump 4 Me!

By the Way

Please don’t be sad it’s V-day. I consoled myself by doing the following:

-Buying a dozen roses I wanted for myself (no worries about wrong color/kind!)

-Buying a slice of cake I wanted at the coffee shop on Sunday

-Buying all the treats I wanted from Trader Joes, which included cheese, wine, and salami (yes, no chocolate—not a fan here)

-Going to yoga class over the weekend all proud of how “well I’m handing V-day” and then crying for no reason after doing the camel pose. And then crying for the rest of class; luckily it was a candlelight class so no one could see me.

And then crying last night because my roommate needed to watch The Bachelor and no matter how low she turned the volume, I could still hear those goddamn whiny girls from my bedroom where I was trying to fall asleep

(Side note: the best way to watch that show is to pretend you are commentating for Mystery Science Theatre 3000–see below). The cute part was my roommate consoled me in the hallway, having no idea why I was sobbing and said, “it’s okay – this is a hard holiday for lots of single people” and I had no idea what she was talking about for a split second because I was so freaking tired.

-Every year my favorite aunt sends me new underwear, candy, and lipgloss for V-day, so I’ve kind of grown to get excited about this holiday and wearing a new pair of undies!

-Decided I’m going out tonight to meet a girlfriend for a drink. And then going to bed insanely early, since I’m on “normal people” time now.

-Realizing I would much rather be single than be with someone who is not right for me. It’s such a relief.

P.S. If you don’t know Mystery Science Theatre 3000, here’s a clip. Now imagine yourself watching The Bachelor (or another f-ed up show) and commentating on it like these old pros.

96 days ago Short URL

///

13

Feb

Bad Mood Monday

It’s bad mood Monday. And this made me laugh:

This dog breed is called a japanese chin. How cute is that?

4 hours later:

What on earth is this and how can I get one?!?


According to this website, it’s called a capybara, and it is a real live muther f-ing BIG hamster.

97 days ago Short URL

08

Feb

Never look back

“Never look back unless you plan to go that way.”
~Henry David Thoreau

P.S. Sorry I’ve been absent! This whole j.o.b. thing is keeping me busy. That and my yoga obsession.

Note to self: do not google image the phrase “plaque on teeth.” Ahh!

 

102 days ago Short URL

01

Feb

Look at all these wishes waiting to be made

 

When you wish upon a dandelion and blow all the spores away, close your eyes, make a wish, and may they all come true some day.

-via threadless.tees.

109 days ago Short URL

Proudly powered by WordPress
Theme: Esquire by Matthew Buchanan.