I hope everybody out there is doing all right. I’m been busy moving and settling in. I think about this blog often and I hope it helps people even if there isn’t a post every day.
I’ve been working on an ebook, but got stalled when thinking about publishing it under my own name. Because I’m searching for a job and I know I’ll be Googled (bleh!) I think I’m going to use a pen name. We’ll see if I get off my butt and do it.
Anyone got a great last name suggestion? Not joking.
Everything else is pretty good.
I always want to be honest here, but I’m not always sure the line where honestly is too personal and I should edit myself.
I’m not the greatest editor so SCREW SUGAR COATING AND NOT TELLING THE TRUTH. Let’s talk about what is working right now:
$4 of helpfulness
I made myself go back on an SSRI (antidepressant medication) and I swear I can tell the difference. It’s glorious because it’s one you can get from Walmart for $4. Seriously amazing for that price. You can get a 20mg prescription and cut the pills in half for a kiddie dose.
Or take the full 20mg on days you don’t feel right.
I feel like more of a functional human being with it.
One of my good friends (actually, I suspect like 75% of my friends) also takes something and swears by it.
Let’s Discuss the Safe Zone!
My friend and I were really funny together before I left San Diego.
We went to a film festival. A few other friends came and we went into a movie theatre and sat in a crowded middle row.
I started looking around and realized I felt claustrophobic and panicy. Like we’re talking, “oh shit, do I really have to sit here for the next 90 minutes? This is going to be PAINFUL.”
I didn’t want to say anything, but then I just blurted it out. “Can we sit in another row?”
My friend who is just like me started nodding her head in agreement. Her and I leaped up and we ended up going to the balcony where hardly anyone was sitting and took end seats.
Then we started laughing uncontrollably. It’s such a beautiful thing to relate to someone that way. She was cracking up and telling me, “I didn’t think I could sit there a minute longer. I’m so glad you said something.”
Then we made a joke we were in the “Safe Zone.”
This made us laugh even harder. We both know it’s all in our heads, but that anxiety feels scary and paralyzing.
Her and I really bonded the last few weeks. Sharing all this stuff with her and having that understanding with no judgment I just wanted to say, “I love you” to her.
I never realized I could love a fellow introvert with a similar personality to me SO MUCH.
Breathing helps too, imagine that
Another friend helped me in a totally amazing way. This girl really has her shit together and she was telling me about a breathing exercise that helps when you’re anxious.
I’ve been doing it daily and IT HELPS.
I rarely have panic attacks, but my problem is an intense fear of them, so I’ve started paying attention to my breathing when I feel uncomfortable.
It’s so simple it’s silly!
So you do a 3,2,7 breathing thingy. Take this seriously…
You breathe in — focusing on breathing into your abdomen — for a count of 3. Literally count it in your head: 1…2…3.
Then hold the breath for two. 1…2.
Then breathe out for seven. 1….2…3…4…5…6…7
Repeat like 5x at least 3x a day, or whenever you want to relax.
I wasn’t expecting the advice. It’s amazing the gems people will give you if you’re open to them.
Hold on tight. Everything is going to be all right.
This is not my cat, but sleeping kitties are a reason to live. Yeah?!
Overheard conversation at coffeeshop:
Guy #1: “Hey! Anything going on today?”
Guy #2: “Minecraft got a big update.”
Let’s all try to contain our EXCITEMENT. omggggg. I obviously don’t know what Minecraft is… But if I did… you’d have to restrain me. I must stop talking about this now.